Invite Sandy’s Green Grouch to ruin your holiday gathering — and accidentally do some good

Click here to fill out an Appearance Request

​

Want me at your home, business, or event? Fine. I’ll show up, roll my eyes at your decorations, mutter about your generosity, and maybe take a photo (though I won’t smile). Every time I do, Sandy’s nonprofits win — which makes me sick, but whatever.

​​

Suggested Donations for a Visit from

Sandy’s Green Grouch

(Ugh. My assistant wanted me to tell you that if money’s tight, you should still fill out the form. Apparently, I can’t stop them from being nice. So fine, if you can’t pay, invite me anyway. Just don’t expect me to be cheerful about it.)

​

🏠 Homes & Families ($50–$75)
Invite me into your cozy little holiday gathering. I’ll stomp in, ruin your family photo with my scowl, maybe growl at the dog, and grumble about your decorations. Quick visit, sarcastic commentary, one unforgettable (and un-smiley) picture. Perfect for making your kids laugh and your in-laws uncomfortable.

​

🏢 Businesses & Offices ($100–$150)
Let me brighten your staff meeting with my bad attitude. I’ll show up, glare at your boss, roll my eyes at your holiday sweater contest, and pose for a photo nobody will forget. Customers and employees will think you’re generous (gross) AND funny. Win-win.

​

🍽️ Restaurants & Public Venues ($200+)
Because nothing says fine dining like a green, grouchy distraction. I’ll mingle with customers, mutter about the food, and take sarcastic photos. I might even steal a French fry. It’s a perfect way to pull people in and give them something to talk about (other than the specials).

​

🎉 Special Events (Parades, Parties, Large Gatherings) ($300–$500)
You really want me in front of a crowd? Fine. I’ll strut, stomp, and scowl my way through your event. Expect grouchy banter, crowd photos, and a lot of uninvited holiday spirit. Larger events take more of my precious time, so this level keeps me from faking a sudden illness.

​
 

​

Fine print (because apparently we need it): All donations are tax-deductible through The D31 Foundation, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit (Tax ID: 86-3480355). That means you might even get a little love from the IRS — but don’t take my word for it. Always check with your tax person, because I’m green, not an accountant. Ugh.